Reasons Why “Insecure” Is the You-ist Thing on Television

 

My reasons for clearing out my schedule and throwing a viewing party for Issa Rae’s first network series are simple; I’m a HUGE fan of Issa Rae. Like, since my friend and I discovered her YouTube series “Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” on it’s second episode, I’ve watched it over and over, made fans out of my friends, and literally bought the t-shirt and the computer decal when merch became available. I’ve bought the book, liked the Facebook page, and last week I attended the Chicago premiere of “Insecure”.

Super fan.

But what if you aren’t as ridiculous dedicated as I am? Why should you take an hour out of your day to watch “Insecure”?

Besides the fact that HBO lend its services to you for a month for free (I can’t think of a better way to spend no money) I have eight more excellent reasons for you below.

 

 

Because “youths” still makes you sort of nervous.

 

My list of fears would be on that paper that tumbles down to my toes and rolls a bit under your watchful and ever surprised eye. Nearing the top would be 3) roaches that can fly 2) farts that seem like they’re gonna be quiet and then AREN’T and 1) getting roasted by a group of adolescents on a day when I’m feeling cool. Kids have the talent of picking out and exploiting even your most minute insecurities to the point where you can almost feel yourself shrinking down to your bumpy nose, or the pimple on your forehead, or your big feet. You can’t win a discourse like this without also exploiting an insecurity of theirs, which, if you do, makes you a terrible person who has just degraded a child. The only way to win is to walk fast as hell and hope that your best friend is available to cry to about it later.

There is an effective way to respond, I’m sure, that I have absolutely not mastered. It’s cool though. Issa hasn’t mastered it either.

 

 

Because you have a friend that is way cooler than you whose secret you can never crack.

 

You’ve tried dressing like them but you don’t have the body, talking like them but you don’t have the swagger, and doing your hair like theirs but don’t have a texture. Their mom is cooler than yours, boys like them better, they can drink without getting sloppy, and they always seem hip to the latest trends. When standing next to them, you are either the plain friend or the poser friend, and because you feel lost in your own life this bothers you. It’s cool though; you also admire your cool as ice friend, and maybe the chill rub off on you?

Either way, it’s fun and oh so relatable to watch Issa navigate this.

 

 

 

Because you still don’t know the proper way to break up with someone.

 

Do it in person, definitely? While holding on to both of their hands and staring into their eyes with your eyes, so that you can pinpoint the exact moment water starts to collect and soften you down to a “never mind”? Or let things end naturally by slowly spacing out calls and texts and Snapchat chats? Say something snarky and then run out of the house to stay with your cool friend for the night? Keep your mouth shut and stay forever?

Hell if I know. Hell if Issa Rae’s character knows either. Let’s all find out together.

 

 

Because you’re still navigating the office politics at your job.

 

No one seems to get you at work. Your comedic genius is unappreciated, your workflow is different from everyone else’s, and that one time you brought a dish to the company potluck people only politely picked at it. The tension at work is so nuanced that sometimes you can’t tell whether most of it is in your head, a forever mystery, since the only people you have to process about it with are your super cool friend who is loved by everyone she works with, and the person you are trying to slyly break up with. What will you do? Eventually quit? Snap? Do something cool that everyone loves and then you become popular again?

Issa doesn’t know, but Issa will find out. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Because you are so good at making awkward moments awkward-er. Er.

 

Accidentally wave at someone who was waving at someone behind you? Forget calmly putting your hand back down and looking away. Wave more frantically at an imaginary person behind them. Scream about how long it’s been since you’ve seen them. Motion for them to come over. That’ll fix it.

Don’t just trip while walking. Slam your knee into the ground, break your shoe, and accompany your sojourn with plenty of over the top sound effects.

Don’t stop at just one bad joke no one laughed at. Be ambitious. Be like Issa. Go for ten.

 

 

Because, although rare, the promise of sex can temporarily turn you into a crappy friend.

 

“I know that you are going through an existential crisis with your love/academic/work/financial life but I’ve had a few drinks and just got texted a series of suggestive emojis and an invite to come over right now so….rain check on the therapy sesh?”

If you think that hurts, think about how you’ll feel when you have to explain to your friend later that the sex was so-so because of your overwhelming guilt for abandoning them, and then they rightfully hog all your snacks.

…

It will make sense when you watch the show.

 

 

Because systemic oppression bleeds into your daily life on a regular basis.

 

Your friend getting engaged has you feeling pressured to settle down, which gets you thinking about false male-dependence. Your girlfriend being approached by a cute guy has you thinking about beauty standards. Your dashiki-wearing coworker has you all in your head about cultural appropriation. The interracial couple that just walked past just got you going on about misogynoir. Everyday interactions are like land mines for thoughts about any number of isms that can change your entire mood. Your entire face falls. Your coworkers notice and ask what’s wrong. You break into a gawky song and dance. Obviously.

 

 

 

Because Issa shows us that a whole host of things that we do that we think are super weird are actually normal and ok.

 

I’m tempted to write here “because being cool is abnormal” but I’ve been uncool for so long I’m pretty sure I have a bias. So I’ll just say that like everyone else is saying, the series premiere will make you laugh and make you think, is witty, and is expertly written. I’d like to add that you are more than likely going to spend the hour the episode runs yelling, “Same. SAME!!” or “Issa swear she me” or “Me AF” if you are cooler than I am.

Which, thanks to Insecure, I know that you secretly aren’t.

 

Insecure premieres on HBO on October 9 at 9:30 PM CT.